Never failing to entertain, The Onion is reporting on the ineffectiveness of Abstinence-Only...lunch programs.

Study: Abstinence-Only Lunch Programs Ineffective At Combating Teen Obesity
July 27, 2009 | Issue 45•31

WASHINGTON—According to the findings of a recent Department of Health and Human Services study, school lunch programs that teach children to avoid all contact with food may not be an effective method of reducing teen obesity rates.

Despite the popularity of abstinence-only meal programs in schools across the country, the study found that children who were provided with no food at lunch and cautioned against eating at an early age were no less likely to become overweight than those who were provided with a well-rounded nutritional education.

"I'm never ever going to eat, because eating is wrong, and I'm worth more than a chicken sandwich with asparagus and rice pilaf," Woodbridge seventh-grader Tracey Holmes said. "I heard Jennifer Hines eats all the time, like 50 times a day. I heard she eats all her ice cream upside-down, though, so she doesn't get fat. That's how it works."

"It's really hard, though," Holmes added. "I get so hungry sometimes. Especially after hours and hours of unprotected sex."



Excerpts from The Onion.
-Gabriel

Excellent Letter to the Editor in today's Columbus Dispatch explaining why Rep. John Adams' HB 252 is a terrible idea:

Abortion-consent bill isn’t well thought out
Monday, July 27, 2009

Leave it to a man, state Rep. John Adams, R-Sidney, to come up with the idea that a woman should have the baby’s father’s permission to have an abortion. Of course, if a father’s permission is all that’s needed, the most important consequences of House Bill 252 are clearly overlooked.

What should also be included are the following options: the father’s commitment to pay for all expenses related to the unwanted pregnancy and birth; the father’s commitment to take the unwanted child and raise it free of any commitment on the mother’s part; the father’s commitment to pay all of the child’s expenses to age 21 (not just “child support”), should the mother decide to keep the baby; and in the case of an already-married father, it’s only fair that the wife should have to authorize the abortion, also. After all, she might want to keep the baby and raise it as her own.

These are only a few ramifications I can think of off the top of my head that could result from Adams’ brilliant idea. Maybe Adams should just try to get some roads blacktopped in his district.

DEBORAH BROWN
Plain City



-Gabriel